The Titan-ic Burger – Can’t Sink This Ship

What do you think of when someone says “titan”?  It implies a sense of power and domination – the ultimate authority.  For this installment of Hamburger Pants, we’re headed to Titan’s Twisted Tavern for the gigantic Titan Burger: a bacon cheeseburger, topped with poutine and an onion ring.  Has your heart stopped yet?  I was happy to have the chance to explore cuisine in the northeast, a cornucopia of hidden-gem restaurants. The Review Crew – the Razzle Dazzle of the Fantazzmanglers basketball team – Mick, Matt, Crystal, Kari, and Jimmy.

Titan’s Twisted Tavern is located in the strip mall next to the Village Square Leisure Centre.  We all thought it would be a dive.  But step inside: Titan’s has been renovated with modern light fixtures, big screen TVs and, as Matt says, “a dressed up concrete floor, so that you can spill anywhere but it looks classy”.

If you go to Titan’s and you don’t see the Titan burger on the menu, fear not.  It is a hidden burger, only available to those who know of it, and to those who know of the Wednesday Titan Burger special. So just ask for the Titan burger with poutine on top, because if you order the Titan 8oz burger that’s on the menu, you will be disappointed.

A few beers later, our burgers had arrived: piled high and kept in place with a steak knife stuck down the center, as the Titan Burger was so mighty they had to slay it before they served it.

The Titan looms large: an 8oz patty, topped with lettuce, tomato, onion, mayo, BBQ sauce, bacon, cheddar, onion rings, fries, gravy, and shredded mozzarella.  Its best feature is the quality bun, unexpected but much appreciated!  The meat itself was juicy and not over cooked, but the flavor of the meat was lacking.  Crystal liked that it had a char flavor to it, as if it came straight off the barbecue.  I still cite Watchman’s Pub as the best tasting patty in Calgary.  I loved the concept of fries in a burger.  At Titan’s, they were light on the fries inside, and only one onion ring! But when I hit a pocket of flavor with gravy, fries, cheese, and bacon, I think the world stopped for just a second. The bacon, according to Mick and Matt, maintained its chewy texture and savory flavor without being overly crispy.  Crystal chimed in with her two cents: that she “needs to whack a strip of bacon on the table and have it shatter”.  Quote of the night right there.

Each Titan burger was ordered with a different side.  Here’s what I like about Titan’s- all sides are the same price (Caesar salad, fries, onion rings, mashed potatoes and gravy) with the exception of sweet potato fries.  Restaurants should never charge extra for different sides.  If you’re going to offer variety, don’t charge those who want to indulge in it.  Though initially excited about the mashed potatoes, STAY AWAY: Jonathan aka “Jimmy” aka “Atlas”, said that his potatoes were “weak and ineffectual”.  Yes, that’s a direct quote, my friends take this blog very seriously.   My onion rings lacked those crumbs on the coating, like my all time favorite, A&W.  Matt’s sweet potato fries were good, however, they were accompanied with an odd yellow dipping sauce, and we weren’t sure what it was, not very good.

As the meal wound to a close, I found myself with that “sick full” feeling, where you don’t want to move, or even be touched, for fear of losing that which you just consumed.  To sum up the trip to Titan’s: it’s always great to go out with your friends and Titan’s is a great place to make that happen. The place was dead up until about 9:30pm when we were just leaving.  They only had 1 cook in the kitchen because of the holidays as well, but let the record show that did not affect the speed of our food being served.  The service was pretty good right up until the place got busy, and it appeared one server was responsible for all the patrons.  Titan’s is a great location, and if you find yourself in the northeast, give it a shot, especially on Wednesdays, where the Titan burger is just $5.  And arrive before 7pm, because Titan’s boasts a superb happy hour from 2-7, where drinks are super cheap, $3-4 depending on what you’re ordering.

I’d just like to quickly thank everyone that has come on with me for this adventure so far.  I started this blog as a way to enrich my relationships with my friends, and its done just that.  Anyone who is reading this post and would like to come with me on a Hamburger Pants adventure, comment below or tweet me and let’s set it up!  In the words (paraphrased) of my favourite beer icon: “stay hungry my friends”
Titans Twisted Tavern on Urbanspoon


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